Social Trauma Stings Deep

How the Qur'an and hadith avert belittling.

I remember my first experience with the Internet.

Sometime in 1997, I sat at my hugely oversized computer, attempting to complete the final research project of my high school career. As I sat listening to the blaring noise of my dial-up modem, I marveled at the fact that I didn't need to leave my bedroom to locate hundreds of sources for my paper. The ease of it seemed unreal.

Little did I know at that time such a tool would revolutionize the way we communicate, learn and live.

Unfortunately, while the Internet has facilitated much good, it has also become a prime method for bullies to keep tabs on their victims. From using aliases to dupe unsuspecting teens, to harassment via social media sites such as Facebook, bullies possess unlimited possibilities when it comes to preying upon others. The days of meeting your adversary after school at the flagpole seem archaic; bullying is an inescapable phenomenon no longer confined to the schoolyard.

According to a new study, "Empathy Gaps for Social Pain: Why People Underestimate the Pain of Social Suffering" featured in the current issue of Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, those who never experience bullying fail to understand the implications of bullying for its victims.

"Everyone knows that social trauma is unpleasant, but people are often blind to the full severity of these experiences and therefore don't do enough to protect or intervene when victims suffer," said study leader Loran Nordgren (assistant professor of management and organizations, Kellogg School of Management). "News stories in recent months centered around bully victims who took their own lives out of desperation and fear, whether harassed physically in school, or emotionally via text message, online or through social networks. Only by having a heightened sense of empathy to victims' true suffering can we begin to pave the way for reform and new policies."

Islam, as a holistic way of life, presents us with multiple injunctions to guard against such behavior. From the verses of Surah Al-Hujurat (49: 1 1 ) that forbid . us from laughing at, defaming or being sarcastic with each other, in essence, preventing bullying, to Surah Ar- Rum (30:22), which instructs us to appreciate the concept of diversity in the universe, God makes it clear that no one is deserves belittling.

Surah Al-Israa (17:36) also guards against one of the most destructive forms of bullying - gossip: "And do not pursue that of which you have no knowledge. Indeed, the hearing, the sight and the heart - about all those [one] will be questioned." On the Day of Judgment, God will question us about the use of our ears, eyes, and hearts. How can we use such faculties to devastate a fellow human's existence?

A hadith of the Prophet Muhammad salla Allahu 'alayhi wa sallam) defines a Muslim as, "The one from whose tongue and hand, people are safe" (Tirmidhi). The wisdom of the Prophet prevents both verbal and physical bullying. As parents, educators, Muslims and human beings, it is our duty to ensure that those around us are safe from our tongues and hands, and create a welcoming environment for our children, students and friends to approach us with any concerns they might be facing. Be alert for signs that your child or student might be encountering - or might be - a bully.

[Author Affiliation]

Deanna Othman

ASSISTANT EDITOR